So apparently the two most fame-hungry people in America dropped their mirrors long enough to find each other. That’s right. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are dating. (At least that’s the rumor.)
At first, all I could do was roll my eyes in disbelief. Isn’t it torture enough putting up with these people individually? Now we have to put up with them as a couple?
But eventually, I warmed up to the idea of the two of them together. After all, they’re the perfect couple. Because they’re the only people out there who can actually stand each other.
So why hate? Why not celebrate that these two incredibly irritating people now get to irritate each other? That’s exactly the kind of relationship I can get behind.
I used to think my cat was lazy. All Shelly would ever do was eat, sleep, and use the bathroom. And on those oh-so-special occasions, throw up an enormous hairball. But after spending more time with her at home, I’ve begun to see her a little differently. In fact, I’ve even learned a few relationship tips from her. Which is surprising, since her only romantic companion is a stuffed turtle that she gets uncomfortably intimate with. Either way, here’s what Shelly has taught me so far:
1) Take Breaks From Each Other
There are many days when my cat avoids me like the plague. She simply gets up, walks out of the room, and doesn’t return until hours later. At first, I’d go searching for her, trying to figure out what I did to offend her. But one day I realized something -- she wasn’t mad. She was simply taking a break from me. By taking some “me” time, Shelly was able to come back out bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (literally), ready for cat-related fun. Apparently taking a break was what she needed for her sanity and our relationship.
2) Ask for What You Want
Shelly never hesitates to tell me what she wants. If she’s hungry, she’ll meow in my face until I pour her some Friskies. If she wants to play, she’ll nibble on my feet until I pick up a toy. If she wants her litter cleaned, she’ll poop all over the rug. Sure, her “friendly reminders” can be frustrating. But I’m glad she tells me what she wants, so I don’t waste any time wondering (and inevitably guessing wrong). You can do the same thing in your own relationship. Ask for what you want in order to avoid any type of miscommunication. Though I wouldn’t recommend nibbling your partner’s feet -- unless they’re into that.
3) Show Affection Every Day
My cat is an attention whore. Every few hours, she’ll come up and start rubbing her head into my hand until I pet her. It’s funny -- it’s almost like she gets energized by the attention. In return, she purrs and cuddles and does all those other cheesy things that cat-owners love. And by showing me affection every day, I know that I matter to her. That’s important for every relationship. It’s not enough that you’re present, you need to show that you care too.
My husband decided to spend President's Day searching for a brand new big screen TV. Granted, this was no surprise. He'd been talking about upgrading our 32-inch for quite awhile now. And after comparing all the deals, he finally found his dream television. A 46-inch LCD Samsung.
At first, I didn’t think 46 inches was that big. (After all, I had seen it in the store next to a 59-inch TV.) But once we brought our new television home, I began to have second thoughts.
It was just so...huge.
I felt myself getting a stiff neck just from staring up at it. Not only that, but when you see your favorite celebrities at that size, you begin to notice things you really shouldn't. Like their pores and their age spots.
After just a few short days with this enormous television in my presence, I realized something. Size truly does matter. And apparently, bigger isn't always better.
Now I'm left with a dilemma. Keep this big screen TV and suffer through eyestrain and potential whiplash. Or ask my husband to give up his dream TV. Tough choice.
I'll keep you posted.
It’s that time again -- Valentine’s Day. The so-called most romantic day of the year. If you want to make this pressure-filled, chocolate-coated holiday into a fun night out, then turn it into a scavenger hunt. Make a game of seeking out the following items on your date night out:
Most pathetic bouquet of flowers.
There’s always some helpless sap who forgets about Valentine’s Day until the last minute. So he has to find flowers in the bargain bin instead of the bouquet shop. And by that time, the pickings are slim. (Think roses with missing petals or plastic daffodils.) Try to spot the raggediest flowers out there -- and then be thankful that they're not yours.
Tackiest Valentine’s Day gift.
Ugly jewelry, tragic-looking teddy bears, a box of chocolate actually made from chocolate. That’s right, tacky Valentine’s gifts come in all awful shapes and sizes. See if you can find the best “worst” Valentine's Day gift around. Trust me, the competition will be fierce.
Unusual heart-shaped items.
On Valentine’s Day, people will make just about anything heart-shaped. Like a purse, or sunglasses, or a fancy shaving of their dog’s butt fur. So take a few minutes to seek out the weirdest heart-shaped item out there. It could give you ideas for next year.
Most creative Valentine’s Day dessert.
Restaurants and bakeries go all out on this special holiday. They’ll bake brownies out of rose petals or macaroons made from a single girl’s crushed spirit. Now it's your job to hunt down the most unique Valentine-themed dessert out there. Then treat yourself to a taste or three.
Couples going through the motions.
Plenty of couples go out on Valentine’s Day out of obligation (rather than, you know, romance). And most likely they’ll be sitting at the table next to you, struggling to make conversation or playing Angry Birds on their iPhone. Take note on how they behave and be glad that you’re not one of them -- at least, hopefully you're not.
Jeremy and I decided to take a last minute trip up to Hearst Castle in San Simeon, California. It was something we’d been talking about for years. After all, a giant castle overlooking the Pacific Ocean -- who wouldn’t want to check that out? And from what everyone had told us, it was supposed to be amazing.
After taking a lovely, three-hour drive up the coast, we made it to Hearst Castle. And I have to admit, all the reviews had been right. The view was incredible. But before we could walk the grounds, our tour guide took us inside for the upstairs tour of the castle’s bedrooms, library, and study.
About ten minutes into it, I was bored out of my mind. Sure, it was fun hearing that Cary Grant and the Marx Brothers had once stayed at the castle, but the bedrooms themselves were boring. They were small, ornate, and more importantly, small. And don’t get me started on the library. I thought it would be grand -- like the library in Beauty and the Beast, but even that room left much to be desired.
35 minutes later, the tour ended and Jeremy and I were led back outside. As we checked out the rest of the grounds -- the two pools, the tennis court, and the gardens -- Jeremy could sense something was on my mind. After a lot of pushing, I finally told him the truth.
Hearst Castle sucked.
Yes, the grounds were gorgeous, but the castle itself was kind of “meh.” And at that moment, Jeremy looked me right in the eyes and said, “I feel the same way. I was more excited to see those random zebras than the inside of the castle.”
And for some reason, I felt better knowing that we both thought Hearst Castle was overrated. Because even though our getaway was a disappointment, the fact that we could be disappointed together -- and laugh about it -- made the trip worth it in the end.
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Another year, another set of best picture nominations for the 2012 Oscar Academy Awards. Out of the nine best picture nominees (yes, nine -- talk about a random number), which one should you choose for date night?
Best Date Night Pick: The Artist
Since Bridesmaids got overlooked for an Oscar nod this year, my best date night pick has to go to The Artist. Yes, I know it’s not mainstream. But who knew a silent black and white film could be so delightful? It’s a beautiful, romantic, funny movie about transitioning from silent films to “talkies” in the 1920s. I say take a chance on this one together.
How do the other eight nominees rank on the date night o-meter?
It’s whimsical, heartwarming, and absolutely gorgeous to look at. Then again, it involves an orphaned boy in a train station. Not necessarily a sexy topic, but still worth seeing in 3-D -- if you can handle the over-sized glasses.
Oakland A’s general manager uses statistics to put together his baseball team. Does that sound romantic to you? I didn’t think so.
Midnight in Paris
It’s light, it’s witty, and at times utterly charming. Unfortunately, it meanders a little too much for a date night pick. Yes, it’s fun to meet all the literary (and artistic) geniuses of the 1920’s, but that doesn’t mean you should skimp on the story.
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
A story about a little boy who tries to find closure after his dad dies in 9/11. This is a movie you probably want to watch by yourself -- with a very large box of Kleenex.
The title pretty much sums up the movie. There’s a war. There’s a horse. Neither two things make me want to make out with my husband.
Roger Ebert said it best, it’s a great feel-good fable story. Good acting, good story, good characters. Although it’s more of a movie to see with your girlfriends than with your boyfriend.
The Tree of Life
Let’s be honest, does anyone even know what this movie is about?
A dramedy involving George Clooney in a Hawaiian backdrop. Sure, this seems like the ideal date night movie, but it feels like I’ve seen it before. And even though I love Doctor Doug Ross as much as everyone else, I’d save this one for a Thursday night pick -- rather than Saturday date night.
I used to be good at pretending to care. Someone would start telling me an incredibly boring story, and I’d act like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. I was so good at feigning interest, that people would tell me, “Wow, you’re a great listener.” I’d always smile smugly and say, “I know.”
But lately, my pretending skill set has started to deteriorate -- and my husband has been calling me on it. Just yesterday, when he launched into his latest “fascinating” story about the office copy machine, he spotted my eyes glazing over. “Your stories aren’t any more interesting than mine,” he said. “But at least I pretend to listen to you. Maybe I should just talk to the cat instead.”
Obviously, I needed to brush up on my technique.
Because even though I don’t care about the 95% of the minutia that he talks about (I mean seriously, who cares that Jorge Posada retired from the Yankees?), he cares that I listen. And it’s only fair, since he fakes interest in all the nonsense I blather on about (like Damon and Elena finally kissing on The Vampire Diaries).
So what does this all mean?
For the people who matter most, you should at least pretend to care what they have to say. And who knows, maybe one day you’ll even find it interesting.
I had so much fun being interviewed by Debbi Dachinger on her radio show Dare to Dream
. We talked relationships, living together, determining your own success in life, and Alpacas (strangely enough).
If you have a chance, check out the show here
Now that it’s a new year, I thought it was time to look back at the celebrity couples that bit the big one in 2011.
Sure, I was happy to see a few part ways (like the much despised Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries or the oddly paired Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn). But there were a few celebrity couples that I was sad to see go their separate ways.
Here are my top five saddest celebrity break ups of 2011:
1) Katy Perry and Russell Brand
The most recent (and for me, the most painful) break up of 2011 was between the sassy pop tart and the eccentric comedian. It’s as if the love gods themselves put these two together to form the perfect kooky union. I think their relationship truly was “The One That Got Away.”
2) Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony
There’s one reason why I’m sad to see this couple go -- because the only time I could stand J.Lo was when she was with Marc Anthony. Now that their marriage is over, she’s back in full-on diva mode. So Marc, for the sake of humanity, please work it out with this woman!
3) Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore
This was one May-December romance that I thought would last. He tweeted. She tweeted back. I guess 140 characters weren’t enough to keep these two together.
4) Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez
These two were perfect for each other. Take that however you wish.
5) Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver
After 25 years of marriage, these two called it quits. Sure, Arnold had an illegitimate child with another woman, but everybody makes mistakes. Besides, seeing a democrat and republican living in harmony gave me hope for the country. Now all I have to hope for is “Expendables 2.”